Whimsy of Life
Whimsical life, here, then there in an instant
Visible, than only light in the form of a memory
Memory, a powerful energy that celebrates an
Existence no matter its significance and yet
We remember the portion of life we saw emerge,
Disappear in the sacred earth, a wheel of infinity
Our lives, an inextricable part, everything that we
Know for all returns and unrecognizable as it is we
Inevitably find a laugh, a voice, a face, a tear we
Remember and recognize again and again across a
Crowded rom, in a whispering pine, trickle of water
Blowing sand, each grain knowing it’s special place,
It’s shape to help stabilize an artful dune an hour,
A day, a million years to form a cliff, a grotto, home.
To Audrey, my sympathy, my love, Carl 9-6-17
Lost in the Shadows
Lost in the shadows of hunger, doubt and men
Unable to connect with the life force within.
How far back did I stumble, lose track with-in
Where forked the road that errantly began
Must I re-trace the wrong path within or can
I return with a short cut with-in for no path
Is right or wrong when viewed as a total offer
Life’s experiences we have stored with-in and
Touched in exchanges with significant others
Who traveled that path made theirs by events
Outside my view of experience and intuition
Perhaps joy and rapture I may know from above
This valley far below, or love may find me there
Where eagles fly and I am inspired to see
Tree tops and pathways I could not see.
I may find what it means to be free or see
A new direction that allows me to finally be
Outside the shadows of doubt and fear and
Your hand to hold and knowing you will be
Part of the new journey, time for you and me.
Electric spark of hands charged by touching.
A finger brushed across a lip, just a trace
An ear lobe slightly tugged arousing in me
Build-up of tenderness indescribably
A charged moment-No way to convey across
Electronic time that won’t sing in wires.
Only there for those who care
Eyes rimmed wet indescribable kindness
No way to convey with electronic blindness
Your Presence is required my tactile love
Character of her Vulnerability
I watch attentively as she talks to us as she works reverently on the old man’s feet; yet with the practiced sure hand of a surgeon as her strong lean hands snip away assuredly to the two withered feet laid like crown jewels on the eased pillows she turned her head aside and glances sidelong at me/ Her one leg noticeably smaller she directed her attention to it and how it came to be,I am already holding her in high esteem and I wonder if she knows she eposes her strength and vulnerability at the same time and wonder about the pain and if her giving of herself helps and wonder if holding her hand would help and she reminds me of a woman washing feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.
She shrugs off my handshake and hugs my son and I tightly and it gives me a sense of well-being and I somehow feel more assured and complete and I wonder if that might have been our day to connect or did it represent an open future door…maybe only a flash of purity in our souls.
If Wishes Were Horses
If wishes were horses how far could we ride?
Black and white horses, which color? You decide!
Matters little to me it’s contradiction that matters.
Yin and yang are good and evil mad as hatters
Could we leap fences and streams like wild deer and
Any other obstacles that might suddenly appear
Could we keep together on our glorious quest or
Race each other night, day to be the very best
Could we keep as our common goal absence of?
Malice or envy if only one was to ever reach the end
Would love survive above our personal ego’s needs?
Remembering that only through love we knew splendor
Kindled by kindred hope, knowledge, and finding others
We could set fire to the spiritual substance we knew
Living had always been a glorious event but now we
Exhilarated in the passion, the truth on fire we had been
Who knows at the end of this journeying our spiritual
Guest we might besurrounded by many from all beginnings
Dragon steeds of fire to illuminated substances of desire
Coming to this sacred rendezvous of peace, love for life-kind
Perhaps my journey begins again at the wall of my sanctuary
Listen very carefully at the wall; I need to revise my plan
Do or die as it has always been, one for me now and then
Be true to your quest and I will be back, be renewed once again.
Don’t despair; perhaps a black and white dappled will find you there
My journey continues though tired and weary of mind
Once I traveled alone, I had to make it my own.
Now I find in my vulnerability passers-by mean much to me
They have become more important than the road scenery
Somehow I discovered my humanness in a desperate moment
I exposed my underbelly in my time of pain and someone saw my
Fear, love, innocence, that I had covered oh so very long.
In a magic moment I knew love that permeates humanity.
I love the road, the adventure, the sights, the sacredness.
The old towns, the rolling emptiness that fills my heart with
Peace, loneliness, self contemplation and reminiscences.
Road signs to my emotions laid out on the pavement of time
Flavorful bits of humanity, though has imparted meaning
That I thought I was fleeing, but just another mind with
Similar glories, disappointments, and dreams left behind.
Ephemeral, nostalgic oasis, worth the extra time to find.
Brothers and sisters all of them, a small piece of time
My existence has been enriched to a finer plateau by
Their presence in my timeline of memories but don’t dwell
Stuck on the side roads never an entrance to be found
Nostalgia can be a quagmire of loneliness given too much time.
An extended boring introduction on too many pages and lines.
To you who I now own a remnant you had lost unraveled twine
Hospitality and commonality a piece of love that’s divine.
Mindfulness and Mindless Theologies
There’s a new kid in town winning followers from all around
But if your game is bluster and retaliation you’ll be embarrassed
His charismatic voice and winning smile, kindness and love
Eyes that carry no controversy no way to argue, trick or trap
You must above all, tell yourself the truth of how you feel
Subjugation not necessary you can stand back up do not kneel
Love permeates your being , you are a part of all I’m saying.
You are divine in nature, a part of god that has matured.
We are all about love, compassion and kindness everywhere
We ignore god’s wrath, punishment and sinful shame for
Teaching a man must be done with no negatives for the
Yin and Tang both must be for balance and talents realized
“God is love”, “Suffer the children to come unto me for of
such is the kingdom of heaven, love thy neighbor as thyself
All these things you can do and more” words and ideas for
Us to wonder, what the meaning we ponder and wonder
What makes the heart grow kinder but compassion, a part
We are endowed to fashion a word or deed to the needy
Open your heart to love though vulnerability announces
Itself with open arms I fly to you again and again, free,
I cannot become a part of mindless theology that follows
A book because we were told in inspiration it was born
I see the thorns hidden in the pages written to ignorant
Followers blinded by usurped unholy authoritative men
I see the torture chambers punishing alternative thought
Wages of sin is death wrung in screams of torture and pain
What is this to gain but anger cloaked in false humility
True humility a path of godliness won by confidence
My directness comes from a mindfulness, self contemplation
Truths only of my own choosing spread on the living rocks I
journeyed to know my place in the place of all things I sense
My joy at acceptance from the life swarm about and through me.
Carl James 6-9-17
Last Love House on the Left
Last Love House on the Left, t in mounds of books and through two stacks glimpse
A fireplace set ,strong, heavy the best bought for me by my love who lay with me dreaming of children, ours, future, a drink, only a blanket, it is like new and it is so heavy with memories, dreams that came true, and those that didn’t and I have learned any love relation teaches us about people but does it have to be so whiplash sudden, like a bolt out of the blue and this house crammed with memories that burst into the yard full of flowers , starts from friends, relatives, a proliferation of love
loving friends and I will say come, take a part of this holy communion I remembrance of my love, and I will take with me a part but enough that embraces the love that was in this place and I cringe at the thought of saying by to the garden and I will teach the new your names, your beauty, your part in my life and my love. We will walk the sacred path, watch birds bathing , butterflies and walk through the wisteria that clings lovingly to our arms and legs. I will tell them what you taught m e that all life is exquisite, that you can see the universe in the black orb of a chickadee and realize your whole life has been a prayer as you ritually prune bamboo, that the glory of the universe can be seen in a flower and robins build their nests in the same place where they are loved.and sometimes I think I should stay here alone and life monastically but I so love the gentle stroke of a woman’s hand on my face.
Life, a fabric constructed of our decisions.
Decisions made with limited information
Resulting in cause and effect unpredictable
Sometimes lucky and sometimes disastrous
Fear not the backlash for nothing is gained
Retreating from decisions for the graff of
Life is never a continuous upward line but
A series of zigs and sags, hopefully upward.
Regret a wasted emotion using up the time of
Our life that could be used traveling the road
Never looking backwards or too far forwards
Absorbed in the process of life around us.
Life that ceases not but moves randomly
Forward, immersed in the light of love
Light of sacredness and creativity unbound
Shackled not by fear created by regret
Looking forward we head towards a mark
Sometimes shimmering and fading out
A wisp on the dissipating, materializing
New goals, new opened doors, we push on
Always remembering life makes no mistakes
Only irrelevant decisions that briefly slow but
Never halt the sacred journey, the ultimate
Quest that positions us in the lite of life.